


At A Party

by PlayerOneMell



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety, Crying, F/F, Gay, M/M, MICHAEL STOP CRYING, Making Out, Michael in the Bathroom, Panic, Party, Sexual Things implied, anxiety attack, boyf riends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 07:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13898928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerOneMell/pseuds/PlayerOneMell
Summary: Jeremy has new friends, and Michael doesn’t know them too well. The friends always seemed to ask about Michael, but Michael was too anxious to approach them. So, Michael anxiously awaited the day he feared.Michael isn’t a fan of drinking, but he knows sometimes Jeremy can fall to influence. Michael walks to the PT Cruiser freezes a bit as he reaches the door. Michael takes a deep breath trying to make sure Jeremy doesn’t notice the panic in him. Jeremy wraps his arms around Michael’s waist signifying he knows he’s scared.





	At A Party

Michael would do anything for his boyfriend, and everything for his boyfriend. They were newly dating, but they had twelve years of friendship behind their belts. Michael has loved Jeremy for a long time and still does. Jeremy loves Michael.

Jeremy has new friends, and Michael doesn’t know them too well. The friends always seemed to ask about Michael, but Michael was too anxious to approach them. So, Michael anxiously awaited the day he feared.

“Are you ready to go?” Jeremy asks as Michael tries to contain his trembling hands.

Last time Michael went to a party he didn’t have the best time. He hopes this time will be different. This time he would have his Jeremy. _His_ Jeremy.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Michael sighs grabbing the keys to his car.

Michael isn’t a fan of drinking, but he knows sometimes Jeremy can fall to influence. Michael walks to the PT Cruiser freezes a bit as he reaches the door. Michael takes a deep breath trying to make sure Jeremy doesn’t notice the panic in him. Jeremy wraps his arms around Michael’s waist signifying he knows he’s scared.

“Michael, I’m going to be right by your side all night. Don’t worry.” Jeremy says softly as he stands on his tip toes so he can rest his heads on Michael’s shoulder.

Michael turns to face Jeremy. _His_ Jeremy he thinks to himself. Michael places his hands on Jeremy’s forearms looking into the bright light of Jeremy’s ocean eyes.

“Jeremy, do you remember what happened the last time we went to a party?” Michael asks keeping his grip on Jeremy.   
“Michael, I’m sorry.” Jeremy says looking down.   
“No, don’t be sorry, it’s okay…I’m just-”  
“Scarred, scared, traumatized.” Jeremy says trying to keep his stare on the ground.

Michael takes a trembling hand to lift Jeremy’s head to look at him. He knows Jeremy had a rough time with Chloe at the last party which is why they’re taking their relationship slowly. The two boys have never even kissed.

“Permission to hug?” Michael asks knowing Jeremy is thinking about the way Chloe nearly raped him at Jake’s Halloween party last year.   
“Please.” Jeremy says in a shaky whisper.

Michael wraps his arms around Jeremy making sure his nails don’t touch Jeremy because Chloe scratched him. Michael would do anything for Jeremy, even comfort him when he himself is in complete and utter panic.

Jeremy wraps his arms around Michael hoping to calm Michael down. Jeremy thinks Michael is the purest bean to walk this earth. Jeremy releases the touch walking to the other side of the car; hoping Michael is stable enough to drive, they pull out of the driveway.

Michael keeps the speed steady and stays calm while he’s behind the wheel. His stomach flips when he pulls onto the street where Rich lives. He hears the bass from loud music and pulls on the breaks trying to choke back his tears. His Jeremy reaches for his hand.

“Player one…I’m right here.”

_It sucks he left me there alone_ …Michael thinks to himself… _Here in this teenage battle zone._

He continues to park somewhere further away from the house in case there’s another fire of some sort.

“You don’t have to do this.” Jeremy continues.

Michael shakes his head. He wanted to do this for Jeremy. Anything for Jeremy. Anything for his Jeremy.

“Come on…let’s go.” Michael says in between breaths.

The boys let the cool night air hit them in the face. Jeremy rushes over to Michael to grab his hand before it goes into his pocket. His Michael stood next to him. His Jeremy stood next to Michael.

The boys enter the all ready open door of the house. Michael is used to loud noises, but it seems like an overload to him. He quickly places his white headphones onto his head. He decides not to play music, but he needs something to block out the noise; the headphones only muffle it. He keeps his hand in Jeremy’s to insure he doesn’t lose his boyfriend.

Jeremy leads them into a den where all Jeremy’s friends sits. Christine with Jenna, and Brooke, and Chloe. Jake and Rich together. There was a nice clear spot for Michael and Jeremy. As they sit down Jeremy sits across Michael's legs.

“Sup tall ath?” Rich says through his lisp.

Jeremy laughs at the nickname. Rich used to say it to torment Jeremy, but now that their friends it’s a joke. Michael feels a bit out of place.

Everyone seems at home, and as time goes on things get even wilder. Michael keeps the headphones on until Jeremy pulls them off three hours later.

“You okay?” Jeremy questions quietly, noticing Michael’s silence.   
“I’m just gonna go get a drink? Maybe some soda.” Michael mumbles standing up.

Michael walks out of the room. He looks around feeling lost and complete panic. Michael finds his way through the noisy hallway filled with people he’s never even seen before. Michael isn’t exactly a people person, but he thought he’d at least notice people. He’s tall, it’s hard not to see people’s faces.

Michael gets lost somewhere on the first floor of the house and gives up on the idea of finding soda. All Michael can smell is liquor everywhere. Feeling his hands start to shake from being alone, he runs back to room where his lovely Jeremy is.

As he rushes back into the doorframe he notices the room is empty. He can hear giggles from behind the couch. He steps in.

  
“Get out” The voice of Brooke hisses.

Michael steps back. Where is _his_ Jeremy? _His Jeremy_. He races down the hallway. Jeremy couldn’t have gone too far. As he races through the house he feels his eyes start to sting. He snaps his head to the left and notices a bathroom…Jeremy’s not in there, he knows that. Michael can feel his chest pull tightly. He goes into the bathroom. He locks the door behind him curling into a ball on the floor.

Michael’s thoughts start circling in his head like they did the first time he panicked in a bathroom at a party. A drunk girl singing outside the door, and the word loser being repeated. Who knows him? He’s all by himself. He feels the tears pour out of his eyes and sniffs trying to wipe them away. He starts to hyperventilate.

“God…I’m such a loser.” He breathes to himself.

He leans his head back on the tub letting a small sob out praying no one can hear him. His veins feel like lead, or a volcano, or just on fire! His ribs rattle against his heartbeat which is going faster than the speed of light.

There’s a knock at the door.

Who could it be? Chloe? Brooke? No, they’re definitely making out somewhere. Jenna? Probably off with Christine talking to people. Jake and Rich must be with..Jeremy..Michael coughs sharply into his cradled arms.

“Michael?” The voice rings into the bathroom softly.

Michael’s head snaps up, but keeps the rest of his body in the ball he formed. The knocks ring into the bathroom again. It was Jeremy.

“Michael…please if you’re in there.” Jeremy’s voice softly echoes off the wall.

Michael tries to stand but stumbles and falls. He was close enough to the door. He unlocks it and open it. He let’s out another sob. Jeremy quickly shuts the door and locks it again. He scoops Michael up in his arms quickly.

“Michael, Michael, Michael, I’m so so so so sorry.” Jeremy says quickly holding back some tears of his own.

Michael starts sobbing dramatically but he just can’t help it. He started wishing he killed himself to end this misery. Parties just aren’t for the anti social Michael Mell.

“Jer…Jer…Jeremy…I-I-I-I” Michael starts to hiccup out trying to explain himself to the loving Jeremy. He hates when Jeremy sees him like this.   
“Hey Player One, it going to be okay. I’m here now.”   
“But you weren’t!” Michael shouts.

Michael regrets yelling those words as soon as he let them out of his mouth. But Jeremy let’s it be okay. He knows Michael is shaking, afraid, and in distress. He slides over letting Michael sit in his lap. Jeremy is smaller and more frail than Michael, but Jeremy needs to protect his boyfriend.

“Michael I’m sorry.” Jeremy whispers watching the crystal on Michael’s cheeks fall. “You’re not a loser. You’re worth everything in the world. You are everything I am.” Jeremy says looking into the fear in Michael’s eyes.

Michael sobs and shakes in Jeremy’s arms trying to prevent curling up into a ball again. Coughs and sobs rip through his throat coming straight from his aching heart. Jeremy hurt him, and he didn’t mean it this time. Jeremy’s heart was breaking just looking at the broken boy in his arms.

“Please, say something Mikey.” Jeremy whispers grabbing onto one of Michael’s hands.   
“Jer…Jer.” Michael cries out holding onto Jeremy tightly.

Jeremy feels his stomach tug. Jeremy lifts Michael’s face so Michael is looking at him. The pain and fear in Michael’s eyes make Jeremy feel like someone shot a bullet through each of his ribs. Jeremy takes a deep breath taking Michael’s face in his hands. He presses their faces together. Michael immediately hooks his upper lip between Jeremy’s. The moment seemed perfect to the two of them even with the taste of salt. Michael pulls away still trying to catch his breath.

“Jer?”   
“I know…I’m sorry if that was too soon or-”   
“It was perfect Jeremy.” Michael manages to stutter out of his mouth.

Michael is still shaking and Jeremy keeps him in his arms. They stay like this for awhile. Michael seems to calm and slides off of Jeremy’s lap.

“Player two..you kissed me…that was our first kiss.” Michael sighs adjusting his dampened glasses. “Were you ready?” Michael asks.

“I’d do anything for you Michael.” Jeremy says gingerly sitting on Michael. “I love you.”  
“I love you too Jer, but.. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable; you’re my safe place Jeremy.” Michael says in a low voice because of the strain he feels in his throat.  
“Are you okay?” Jeremy asks almost ignoring his boyfriend’s concern.

Michael nods as Jeremy puts his arms on Michael’s chest. What was this boy up to? He hasn’t been drinking. So what has gotten into him?

“I feel safe with you too.” Jeremy says quietly looking at Michael’s lips. “That’s why I can do this with you.” Jeremy says leaning in.

Michael is shocked as Jeremy softly kisses him. He wants to be romantic with Michael and it’s a lot for Michael to process after an anxiety attack. He let’s it happen anyway. Jeremy works his way down to Michael’s jaw line. Michael smiles. He’s happy that Jeremy feels safe with him, and that Jeremy might just be moving on from the terrible situation with Chloe.

“Jeremy” Michael whispers.  
“What..Mikey?” Jeremy asks between kisses.   
“I love you.”  
“I love you too. That will never change.”

Jeremy keeps his hands on Michael’s chest but shifts the sweatshirt over a bit. Michael puts his hands on Jeremy’s hips trying to keep Jeremy as steady as he could. Jeremy stares at the exposed skin of Michael’s neck before going in. Jeremy thinks of Chloe forced on top of him, but shrugs the thought off pressing his lips into Michael’s neck. He bites a little giving Michael a hickey, and he goes down the neck. Jeremy leaves a total of four and leaving Michael feeling a bit better.

Jeremy sits back down on Michael’s lap and tucks his head into Michael’s chest. His breathing is slow and steady. Michael is proud that Jeremy was so brave, and Jeremy is amazed he made it through.

“I don’t think parties are for us.” Jeremy sighs.   
“No, I don’t think they are.” Michael agrees.

Jeremy gives a look at the marks on Michael’s neck.

“I’m sorry if that was too much.”   
“It was perfect.” Michael says calmly.  
“Wanna head back to my place? Would you feel safer?” Jeremy asks standing up.   
“Jeremy, my safe place is you.” Michael responds standing up.

Jeremy and Michael both agree that parties aren’t for the two of them. They go back to Jeremy’s house and really talk it all through. There’s nothing better than being in a safe place. And as the boys fall asleep in each other’s arms, feeling the other’s warm beating heart, they knew their safe place was each other.


End file.
